As the song by The Beatles suggests, this is not me saying ‘goodbye’ – even if you are about to read my last blog post in English. No worries, I’ll explain further down. I have a lot I want to say, so grab a cuppa and stay for a while…
It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything. You may have heard me mention that I’ve been having some issues with my right hand for the past year. I finally had a surgery last month – only to make it worse. Typing with my non-dominant hand takes forever, so blogging (and being active on social media) has obviously not been a priority. I had a new surgery last week (same hand, different surgeon). I’m optimistic, but it’s still too early to know whether it worked this time.
I’m fine otherwise. Better than fine! The way I see it, pain is inevitable – whether it’s physical or emotional pain – but suffering is a choice. Pain is bad enough, I don’t have to suffer on top. Self-pity is suffering, worrying about the outcome is suffering, being sad or angry or frustrated because this or that happened is suffering. Whenever you argue with reality, you are suffering. I don’t have to go there – it’s just my hand and I am so much more than my hand. LIFE is much more than just a hand! I choose to stay joyous and grateful, optimistic and playful 🙂
Change Your Default Setting
Being joyous and grateful, optimistic and playful is my emotional home – my default state of mind, no matter the circumstances. I can still get sad, annoyed, angry and what have you – I’d wonder about my own sanity if I didn’t – but it’s rare and I won’t stay there for long before I bounce back to my emotional home. This ‘default state of mind’ is like a magnet that either pulls us back up or back down. You can think of it as your inner thermostat that will kick in and make it either cooler or warmer whenever your emotions differ from your default setting.
Your default emotions are nothing more than a habit and your thermostat setting is NOT permanent. In order to change the inner thermostat so your default is “warmer” (positive emotions), all you have to do is practice by feeling the emotions you prefer as often as you can.
Raise your standards of how you want to feel and practice: If you want to feel happier more often, you can listen to uplifting music and dance 3-5 times a day and you’ll soon notice that your inner default setting wants to go there. If you want to feel calm and peaceful, you can learn how to breathe properly and meditate daily. If you want to feel good, BE good.
If you want to feel more fear, anger or sadness, all you have to do is dwell on pain – no matter if it’s pain from your past or present circumstances or anticipated future pain (aka worry), you can even dwell on other people’s pain – just make sure you suffer long enough to make it your default setting. You know what I’m talking about, we’ve all done it. There’s nothing wrong with you if you have – it’s a very common human pattern of behaviour (aka habit). You also know what you have to do in order to break out of that pattern. Knowledge alone isn’t enough, you must apply it by doing it. You need to be doing things differently in order to get a different result. So put on that music and dance!
I’d like to add that we have other inner thermostat settings as well: Your financial thermostat determines how comfortable you are earning more or saving money. Your body weight thermostat will make you do silly things to gain weight if you lost it on purpose. Your relationship thermostat can make you say and do things that hurts your partner if things are going too well (compared to what you’re used to). Many will find their home being messy again just a few days or weeks after yet another decluttering spree, all because of their inner thermostat settings. Some call this mechanism self-sabotage, the thermosat analogy explains why we self-sabotage.
Your thermostat settings determine what you tolerate, not what you want. Raise your standards and refuse to tolerate less than you want!
Being aware of your own inner thermostats in any area of life is a good place to start. We can’t change what we’re unaware of.
What I Do All Day When I Can’t Even ____ fill in the blanks
My right arm might be temporarily out of order, but there’s nothing wrong with my eyes, ears, mind and spirit – so I’m reading and taking classes and applying the knowledge. I’m wearing my persistent big girl pants (lined with courage and faith) by working on my goals – my clearly defined stepping stones towards my dreams and my mission (aka main purpose), infused with an unwavering certainty in my ability to get the results I want so that my mission can be brought to fruition.
My mission to help others is my “Why” – the inspiration that motivates me to keep learning, applying and growing. My mission gives me enticing reasons to keep going. It’s not just about me and my own growth and happiness, it’s about all those I can help in the future because of the efforts I put in today. My mission makes my daily efforts a MUST.
Learning and applying more knowledge and skills are my stepping stones, my plan of action. First things first. Dream BIG, take small but strategic steps. Don’t be busy, be productive by investing your time and energy on stepping stones that matter – where your efforts make a difference. Enjoy the process and celebrate your progress! You don’t have to work hard if you work smart. Not that there is anything wrong with hard work, but hard work alone won’t necessarily give you the results you want. If you want to go north and you keep going east, your hard work is futile.
“The forces of life are composed of our thoughts and ideals and these in turn are molded into form; our problem is to keep an open mind, to constantly reach out for the new, to recognize opportunity, to be interested in the race rather than the goal, for the pleasure is in the pursuit rather than the possession. Your greatest success will come as you are enabled to assist others. What benefits one must benefit all.” – Charles Haanel
In other words, our fulfillment in life isn’t about what we achieve, but who we become in the pursuit of our goals and how we can contribute as a result.
What steps are you taking to get WHERE you want to go and to become WHO you want to be?
A New Chapter in Life
Since I can’t type, I use the mike on my phone to “write” an email to self which I open on my computer, copy and paste the text into Word where I’ll edit it later, when my hand has healed. I’ve written several chapters of my book this way, plus numerous pages for an upcoming projcect.
All the writing I’m currently doing using the “voice to text” method is in my own language, Norwegian. Some of the writing is for my next book and some is content for my new website, which will be in Norwegian only. The domain to my English website, where you are right now, expires on the 30th of April and won’t be renewed.
My new book and website are both part of my contribution, to help others get a better life. I know I can be of more help locally, in my own country and in my native tongue. I have several friends and family members who are not comfortable with the English language, which means there must be many more out there who would prefer if I offered my services in Norwegian – so I will. This is not ‘goodbye, it is ‘hello’. I’m not leaving. I have arrived.
My Last Gift To You (in English) … is YOU!
❤️ When YOU believe in you, others will too.
❤️ Aim to be the best version of yourself, not a mediocre imitation of others.
❤️ Time is precious, use yours wisely. Time will pass whether you do something to improve your life or not. That time we call Life is much more enjoyable when you do what it takes to evolve into the best version of YOU that you deep down want to be.
❤️ Be brave and listen to your heart, that inner voice or gut feeling.
❤️ Find your own rolemodels and learn from them. Make sure they live the kind of life YOU want for yourself. Make sure they are the sort of person you aim to be. Make sure they don’t just talk about it – they must BE about it. If you want to be caring, happy and fulfilled, find rolemodels who are.
❤️ If you need therapy to overcome past traumas, seek help. Talk to your physician, talk to a friend to get recommendations, do something.
You can do it. You are worth it.
YOU are SO worth it!
PS: Hvis du forstår norsk og vil bli informert når mitt nye nettsted lanseres,
send meg en e-post: firstname.lastname@example.org